Is your Helper your second set of hands or a second Mama .. weep weep…

By The Oracle

September 2023

We often get Anon requests from Mamas who have just completed their 4 month statutory maternity leave and are struggling to re-adapt to the working role and deal with the changes at home. Handing your 4 month old baby over to another is a hard gig.. it’s the worst!! Along with the Mum guilt comes the work guilt – lack of confidence and sheer exhaustion leaves many mothers stressed out whether they are failing both at motherhood and as an employee. 

Now that most of us are working from home, we do have the advantage that we are saving the commuting time and can more likely than not make bath time as well as snuggles and bedtime. However, this in itself is equally confusing for a little one as they know that Mama is behind that door and will come running if they squeal loudly enough! 

Then we have the issue of trying to find a balance between work and baby and honestly, this is a mind field and not one that I have managed yet – it is very much a work in progress…. And I think it always will be whilst we navigate through these every surreal COVID times especially. 

However, I am incredibly thankful to have a second set of trusted hands in my helper, but of course now that Mama is less present on a day-to-day basis, the concern is that the helper will become the no 1 woman in babies’ life. Emotionally this is a huge stressor for Mama. Many of our members report feeling concerned over the developing bond between the helper and baby, often with baby seeming to prefer the helper or reach out for them rather than their Mum. Hand on heart, this sucks! But it will pass I promise you. Mama will always be Mama and the old adage, it takes a village to raise a child is very much true. I am thankful to have someone in my life who cares for my baby and although I may feel a tad jealous at times, I know that I need to work and its good for baby to be developing relationships with others and out and about on play dates, improving social skills and making friends. This all helps create a well rounded baby who is happier and knows he is safe. 

NO matter how close they get to your helper know KNOW that babies KNOW they only have one Mama and Mamas kisses are the best! It’s an adjustment period and it will pass – from one working Mama to another, we are all in this together!!